Sunday 12th April 2009

So I’ve just got in from being at a family friend’s house almost all day. I’m a bit surprised to be completely honest that we didn’t stay longer, usually we do, but I suppose it’s because a lot of people started leaving pretty early. Met a really nice 18 year old girl there, Sandy. Looked so young, which I suppose is good, except for the I.D part :)

She’s a private school girl, not that there’s anything wrong with them, and she’s lovely, but her dad... well! Let’s just say my dad found absolutely nothing to talk to him about. Or any of the other men for that matter! It was all “my Maserati is better than yours” and “Oh, so which football managers do you know?!”

Glad I found some common ground with Sandy though, considering we spent quite a few hours together. She really is lovely, and there’s no guy in the picture, nor has there been for a while. Also, according to her, she’s not fussed with boys at the moment. So I can still hope that she’s not as straight as she says, or not as straight as she thinks she is!

She’s off to University in September, just got back from travelling in her gap year. She went everywhere, Australia, America, Mexico... the places go on, and I’d list them... if I could remember. In all honesty, I didn’t take in everything that she was saying. Was kind of thinking about other things.

Which brings me on to the fact that I think I “more than like” someone I’ve been talking about quite a lot. She’s been on my mind so much recently, and I can’t help but think I’m falling for her... again. I still can’t believe I haven’t ended things with Lex, but every time I think about it, it makes me smile. Yes, you heard right... smile! You must think I’m some really self-centred bitch of a girl, but honestly, it’s not thinking about the pain I’ll be putting her through that makes me smile. It’s the thought of being single again, that's what makes me smile.

Not that this girl will have me. For one, I’m not good enough for her, and also she’s got her eye on someone else. Now I daresay, beggars can’t be choosers - and that’s practically what I am - but I wish I could choose. Wouldn’t that make life so much simpler? I sure as hell think it would anyway!

I can't think right now, but I might be back later to finish up on this whole palava.

Much love xxx