Thursday 9th April 2009

Well it’s been ages since I last posted. I’m on my Easter Holiday now... thank God! Missing everyone though, just as I said I would be. I have plans to meet up with some people, but things always tend to go wrong when I’m involved. Hopefully Hannah will be coming next Thursday to sleepover; I can’t believe she still hasn’t seen my “new” house, if you can call it that. And I’m meant to be sleeping over Victoria’s house on Monday, which should also be really good. I never get to see her anymore, and it sucks.

Charlie’s gone away for a few days, and I’m missing her like absolute hell. She means the world to me, that girl, even more than a lot of people I’ve known for a long time. I still can’t believe I’ve known her less than three months. It feels like years. It’s times like these I wish I was a lot older, or that my parents would treat me like the adult they don’t want to admit I actually am. I’d go down and see her, and I really want to, but I can’t.

Love is a strange thing, isn’t it? It shows itself in a number of ways. In friendship, in crushes and in “true love”. I always used to wonder about the difference between loving someone and being in love. I think I have that just about sussed now. I love Hannah, Charlie and Sammy but I’m not in love with any of them. And yet at the same time, I still love them more than I love Megan or Kath or Victoria... or anyone. So while I can tell the difference between those two terms, there are still subdivisions that I don’t understand. And liking them all at once, that part’s confusing as well.

It just sank in that Charlie’s going to read this, whenever she gets home. That's kind of worrying, yet at the same time, I kind of want her to know. That's really weird isn't it? Oh well. Weird is my middle name... one of them.

I think I should just clear up here that neither Charlie, Sammy nor Hannah are the reason for me wanting to break up with Lex. I'm doing that on my own accord based on the feelings I don't have for her, rather than the feelings I do have for others.

So I'll end on that note, and just remind everyone how much I miss Charlie. My amazing girl.

Lovage xxx