So there's this thing...

It's slightly bugging me.
But I can't do anything about it.
Well I could, if I were a more capable soul.
I'll share, I suppose. I need to...

There's someone I know, someone extremely special and whom I hold closest to my heart. And she needs something that I don't think I can give her.
Someone can, I know someone can, but she refuses to believe so.

I'm writing this thing for her, to sum up how I feel... it's not going too great. I might show it to her when it's done, if it at all reflects what I was hoping it would.

I'm too selfish to let her go, and I don't think she wants that, but I feel inside that she would be better off with someone else.
I love her too much for my own good. Far too much.

My head feels like it's going to explode, but I think that's down to what's in my heart.

Her.

Good god, I don't think I've been much more in love.

Somewhere out in the back of your mind...

Comes your real life and the life that you know
It seems like it was the creation of some of those same old things
It seemed to be the only thing left out in the light
She had trusted many
But been unfamiliar with
Almost everyone but you me

Sorry Stevie, your lyrics just didn't quite fit.

My mind feels like there is a tornado going on inside it... but at the same time, there's this deadly silence, like the sound has been turned off, the thoughts, everything.

And I don't have the controller to turn it back on again, someone else holds that. Other people, rather, for there's more than one. Until I gain back some control over my life, this turmoil will continue.

There's this flame burning, constantly burning, and I love what it gives me. I don't ever want it to go out. But something tells me a cold, dark winter is ahead, one in which I will need that flame more than ever, but that I will lose it to a harsh wind in the very middle of the night.

I also worry, for although that flame is my saviour, the fuel which is feeding it sees me as their's. I hope not to have to face this dilemna, but it seems currently most inevitable.

I shan't abandon her in her time of need though, that is one thing I shall never do. I promised to stand by her, support her, be there when she needs me the most. And I will. It's my duty to do so.

My duty.