I can't help but smile, despite the pain I feel inside, for she makes me so happy...

Jesus Christ.

Well my heart has started working again, which is a good thing I suppose. It's been long enough, and I was missing the feeling.

There have been two main things on my mind, Her, and love. And also Her AND love, together. But in all fairness, however much I like having these feelings back, they're no good. I can't be having them.

They're not indecent, just inpractical among other things.

And I'm not ready for this... not ready at all.

I need to get my head around being the older person, the supportive half, before anything else. Because that's what I'm struggling with most... and it's not pretty up there *taps noggin*. Not pretty at all.

But whatever.

No one cares.