Yeah, it's been a while...

I told you the day I got back
It was just after our anniversary
And I broke your heart

I told you the truth
The cold, thoughtless, unforgiveable truth
Too much of it
It's not lying when you just with-hold something, is it?

I should have done
I should have withheld some things I said
But I didn't
Because I was stupid
And heartless

I went into the 'why' too far
Said things you'd have been better off not knowing
Stupid things
Stupid me

And you pretended to be fine
You never really were one for feelings
Not outward feelings
And I kidded myself you were okay
When I knew you weren't

You sent me a message, asking me some things
To which I replied
Your reply to mine came
But you didn't recieve another from me
I didn't have the guts
So I ran away from the truth
Like I always do

Hid from it
Hid from you
Hid from me
Until I almost forgot
Almost

But I never really forget
These thoughts haunt me long after everything else
They're the basis for my nightmares
Living nightmares
Until I'm filled with guilt and regret
But no going back
From here there is no return

She didn't say it
She didn't do anything
She wouldn't
The feelings weren't returned
She didn't return anything of mine
Other than my hoody

I do still have your letter
And my parents and brother are fine
I wish your family was too

The military wouldn't suit you
There's too much time to think
Too much thinking isn't healthy
Not for you it's not

My eyes are okay
But they weren't
Not for a while
How are yours now?

And no, I don't tan
I could never stand the sun long enough to
Just like you

It's not wrong to feel that way
It's human
We're just human
Mostly
Usually
Sometimes we're not
I wasn't
I should have been

How am I?
I'm...
Well, I'm sorry
But that's not enough
It will never be enough
Will it?